Shut Up and Fold Your Poker Hand
We've all heard them, those lines that, when uttered at the poker table, erect a virtual "Sucker" sign over the speaker's head. If you hear yourself mumbling these all-too-common phrases, save yourself some money and muck your cards.
"I have a good feeling about this hand." Good feelings are for greeting cards and charity donations, and at the poker table, there's no such thing as charity. Successful players have a good feeling about pot odds. Plan your strategy with cold logic, not warm fuzzies.
"But they're suited!" This line is popular online and, for comic effect, in weekly poker games. Great, you've been dealt two cards of the same suit and you're two-fifths of the way to a flush. But in your handy book of poker points out that you'll get a flush by the turn only about 11 percent of the time. Especially if your pocket cards are unconnected and lower than jacks, the best thing they're suited for is the muck.
"I really wanna take this guy out." What is this, the playground? Personal grudges will cost you money and make you look like an easy, emotional mark to the rest of the table. Yes, it'd be nice to make that arrogant bluffer pay, but you can do it with better cards than you're holding at the moment.
"This hand made a famous player won in a tournament." But, um you're not a famous player. Nor are you playing heads-up in a tournament where you've already banked a few million bucks with a guaranteed second or third-place finish, where you could afford a risky or unconventional play. Said pro had nothing to lose, you do.
"You got so lucky." Funny thing about luck, it comes and goes. Next time it could be you on the winning end. The important thing is not to let someone else's temporary good fortune put you on tilt.
"My luck is bound to change. I'm due." This is the flip side of the previous mistake. If you feel the table owes you something, you're not open to the realities of the odds. The table, she does not love you. That green felt minx will break your heart, but also doesn't have to leave you broke.
"I'm already the small blind, I might as well play." That's akin to saying, "I'm already going to die, I might as well look stupid doing it." Yes, playing the small blind with any two cards is a cheap way to see the flop, but consider the price of the blind and the size of your stack before making the call. And as always, if you do pay to see a flop that doesn't help your 7-2 offsuit, get out!
"One more hand." Oh no, buddy, you've had enough. Realize that sometimes your streak is stone-cold and it's simply not going to warm up again without some sleep. Better to pocket your remaining cash and start fresh another day.
"All in." Unfortunately, this is also what winners say... well, at least on TV. Everyone's favorite catchphrase still wields enormous power, but power corrupts. It's always a calculated risk to go all-in, just make sure you're holding a hand worth taking that risk. They say all you need is a chip and a chair, but if you waste your last chip, well, you can't bet the chair.